Thursday, August 21, 2008

They definitely don't think the way we do...

Today is my eldest son's 7th birthday. It is hard to imagine that he has now officially been mine for 5 1/2 years and it is hard for me to remember how hurt and damaged he was when I brought him home and more importantly, how far he has come in those 5 1/2 years! He has learned to Eat solid foods (a feat that took nearly 2 years) and has learned to talk and has learned to count and spell and be a good brother to his younger siblings. He still struggles with things, he makes some poor choices, he frustrates me more than I like, but he can make me laugh like no one else. He has a sweet innocence to him that makes me want to hold him and protect him and believe in him and fight for him.

A I lay with him tonight, him drifting off to sleep in a cupcake induced stupor we had this conversation:

Mom: I like to think today about what was going on 7 years ago when you were born. It makes me think about your birth mother. I bet she is thinking about you today.
M: Who? my birth mother?
Mom: Yes...the lady whose tummy you came out of.
M: You?
Mom: no, you know that another lady carried you in her tummy and had you in the hospital and then left you with the doctors and nurses so they could find you a mommy who could take care of you forever.
M: What was her name?
Mom: Her name was _____ . You know that, we read about her in your book.
M: Where is my birth mother?
Mom: In Russia.
M: What is R's (my six year old son) birth mother's name?
Mom: Well, we are talking about your birth mother because it is your birthday and I'm sure she was thinking about you sometime today
M: Did she get shots?
Mom: What?
M: my birthmother, when she was in the hospital?
Mom: Yes, I guess she probably got shots.
M: did she get a needle?
Mom: (a little exasperated now) yes, I'm sure she got a needle in the hospital. but I want to talk about how we are lucky that she left you with the doctors and nurses and that I could find you and bring you home.
R (who has been quietly lying [listening] in the top bunk): Did my birth mother get shots?
Mom: Okay, bedtime! Let's say a prayer for both of your birth mothers- who are no longer in the hospital and are not getting shots!

Maybe the next time I try and discuss the hard subjects I will remember to not to bring up the hospital and derail the discussion to the current obsession of my 6 & 7 year olds - Shots!!


lydia eve said...

SHOTS!! ACK!!! Hahaha... nothing like scary medical stuff to derail a conversation with a 7 year old!

And here's a big THANK YOU to M's birth mother for giving you such a wonderful gift!

Debra said...

Yes, the topic of shots trumps any other conversation topic, except maybe going to Disneyworld....and that might even be a close second! Happy Birthday, M!